On Commitment, and Other Such Things
by Butterfly Dreamer767
Summary: "The closest thing that came to commitment on her part was the three weeks she owned a goldfish when she was nine." Abby rethinks the past ten years of her life, all thanks to one little comment from Tony. Hints of McAbby. (Title may change.)


**A/N: Hello!. This is my first NCIS fanfic, so I don't know if the characters will seem OOC, or unrealistic. This is also kind of AU, because I wrote it after I read spoilers for season 11 but before I watched the season 10 finale. Just pretend that one little scene where Tony and Ziva learn about McGee's new girlfriend didn't happen. (Or you could, either way, the story will work.) Hope you enjoy the story!**

**I don't own NCIS. Or the song **_**The Bear went Over the Mountain.**_

* * *

As she stared at the glowing screen of her computer, she couldn't get the earlier conversation out of her mind.

_The team had been sitting around the office, waiting for their next assignment. It had been slow the past few days and everyone was sick of catching up on paperwork. She had come up to join them because being bored with others was better than being bored in alone in her lab. Perching on the edge of Gibbs' desk, she observed the others. Ziva was cleaning her gun, taking great care to make sure the polish was spread evenly. Tim was furiously typing away at his computer, no doubt working on securing, double-securing, and triple-securing his files. DiNozzo reclined in his chair, fiddling with a paper clip. All seemed normal. Peaceful. Serene._

_Suddenly, DiNozzo spoke. "You know how they have Take-Your-Kid-To-Work Day, and Career Day at schools?_

"_No, I do not Tony." Ziva replied. "What are they?"_

"_They're basically what they sound like Ziva." McGee cut in. "The first is where parents bring their kids to their jobs for a day. The second is when kids' parents come to their schools and talk about their jobs."_

"_Which brings us to my idea," Tony paused, trying to create suspense. "Take-Your-Significant-Other-To-Work Day!"_

_If he was expecting applause, he sure didn't get it. "Why in the world would you do that?" Ziva asked. "It would be incredibly distracting, would it not?"_

"_Oh Zee-vah," Tony sighed. "You fail to see the many benefits of such a day. I think it would do our team some good. Not only would you get to spend more time with your date, you could also meet your co-workers dates too!"_

"_I believe that would be an __invasion of privacy__." Ziva shot back._

"_Oh, please. We could figure out if the Boss-man has anyone new in his life. Plus, we could also meet Probie's new girlfriend." He turned to Tim._

"_No." Tim said firmly._

"_C'mon, you've been dating her for weeks, McLoverBoy. When are we finally going to get to meet her?"_

_Silence from Tim._

"_At least give me a name. You owe me that much."_

"_He does not owe you anything, Tony." Ziva interrupted. _

_Tony swiveled in his chair to face her. "You know something. Spill." He gave her a look that was part puppy dog, part glare, and part suspicion. _

"_I do not know a thing." Ziva ruined her credibility by glancing at McGee at the last minute. _

"_Zee-vah…"_

"_You can tell him." McGee shifted in his chair. "Maybe then he'll shut up."_

"_Ha! I was right!" Tony grinned in triumph._

_Ziva rolled her eyes. "All I know is a name Tony. Delilah."_

_Tony's smile turned contemplative. "Delilah. Nice name. Sounds like a flower." He paused. "Last name?"_

"_I do not know." Ziva answered with an air of finality._

"_Wow, Probie. What's with all the secrecy?" Tony snapped his fingers. "Ohh, I get it. You don't want us to meet her because you're afraid she'll fall for me, with my good looks, my charm, my many talents-"_

"_Which are what, DiNozzo?" Gibbs strode in, interrupting Tony's teasing. _

"_Well, um, you know Boss," Tony fumbled for words._

"_Stop bothering McGee." Gibbs fumbled through his desk drawer, looking for something. _

"_I wasn't bothering him Boss. I was merely inquiring-"_

"_Let's go." Gibbs found what he was looking for. "New case- five dead petty officers." He turned to Abby. "Go get your lab ready- I have a feeling we'll be bringing back a lot of evidence._

Abby sighed. That had occurred two hours ago, and she was still waiting for the team to come back. She wasn't aware that McGee had a new girlfriend, he hadn't mentioned that to her. She knew he had dated other people, _duh,_ but usually she knew about them. It was odd that he hadn't told her, especially since they had apparently been dating for weeks. And Tony and Ziva knew more about it then she did.

Huh. Now that she thought about it, she really hadn't seen Tim the last few weeks. Yeah, they had been super busy with cases, but he hadn't come down to her lab as much as he usually did. And when he did, he seemed distracted and distant.

This did not sit well with her.

Before she could continue her contemplation, the elevator bell dinged. She heard Tony and Ziva arguing as they got out of the elevator.

"Tony, why would a bear go over a mountain? Bears live in forests, not mountains."

"Ziva, some mountains are forested."

"Yes, Tony, but why go over the mountain? For protection? Food? Shelter?"

"I told you, to see what he could see."

"That does not make any sense."

Tony set down his box of evidence. "It's a children's song, Ziva. It isn't supposed to make sense."

"Then why do you not sing songs that make sense?"

Tony handed a clipboard to Abby to sign, verifying she had received the evidence. "What, like your country's songs that involve goats and death? Yeah, those make a lot of sense."

"It is about a father buying a goat for his child. People do that in my country, Tony."

Tony shook his head. "It's got to be unpatriotic to hate against America's kids' songs." His voice faded as the two agents headed back upstairs.

Abby smirked. _Typical Ziva and Tony, always clashing. At least some things don't change._

* * *

An hour later found Abby staring glumly out her window. She tried to lose herself in her work, but found she just couldn't forget that earlier conversation. She had turned her music off twenty minutes ago because it was bothering her. As she waited for Major Mass Spec to match the final DNA samples, she went back to thinking about McGee's girlfriend. Delilah.

_Tony's right._ She thought bitterly. Her name did sound like a flower. She supposed that Delilah was one of those girls who used ladybug toothbrushes and wore J Lo Glow perfume. Delilah probably didn't quake at the word _commitment_ or get insanely jealous when her best friend flirted with someone else.

Her thoughts were interrupted when her computer beeped, indicating a match had been found. Two seconds later, Gibbs walked through the door.

"Whatcha got, Abbs?"

Trying not to appear as depressed as she felt, Abby turned to tell him what she found.

"I lifted, like, dozens of fingerprints off what you guys brought me, which makes sense, since these guys were killed at a party. All are matches to petty officers. Thankfully, I was able to get better information from the blood you gave me. Five of the samples match the dead petty officers. The other three are matches for three others, which leads me to believe there was a fight. So you either have three more victims, or three new suspects. Here are their names." She handed him a list.

Gibbs took it, staring at her thoughtfully. "What's his name?"

"What?" Abby was confused.

"The name of the guy I'm going to have to go have a serious talk with for hurting your feelings."

"It's no one, Gibbs." Usually Abby liked having Gibbs be the overprotective father figure, but this was way too complicated. Not only did it involve one of his agents, but it would also directly violate Rule Twelve, plus a bunch of other rules that probably existed. "I'm fine."

Gibbs looked at her. "Really? Then why wasn't your music playing when I got down here?"

"I just have a headache." Abby attempted to smile. "It will go away."

Gibbs looked like he wasn't buying it. He must have thought it best to let her be, though, because he just patted her on the shoulder and said "Good work, Abbs."

Abby turned back to the evidence, trying to find more information for the team. She tried to focus, but found herself musing again.

She still liked McGee. He was her best friend. He was the one who knew her best, could guess what she was thinking before she said it. But Abby suspected the feelings she harbored for McGee were a little more than _like._

And now she was in scary territory. Love, commitment, relationships- they make her nervous. She was never one who was good with consistency in her life. She liked constant change, surprises were normal for her. The closest thing that came to commitment on her part was the three weeks she owned a goldfish when she was nine. She fed him and cleaned his tank, then became distracted by something else, and before you knew it, the goldfish had ended up in goldfish heaven. Her mother had constantly thrown away half finished projects that were abandoned because Abby had grown bored with them. All in all, commitment wasn't her strong suit.

She paused to digest this depressing fact.

Well, one could argue that she was committed, that she could maintain relationships, and she was pretty persistent when she wanted to be. After all, one doesn't become a leading forensic scientist by being flaky and a procrastinator.

But that was science. Abby knew she could commit to that because there would always be a name behind the fingerprint, a match to the DNA sample, a reason for a particular blood spatter. It was not hard to commit to something with a definitive answer.

Relationships were a different story. One never knew when a fight would occur, or two people would get closer, or if things would stay the same for years. Abby did not like the unknown. It scared her.

Yes, it scared her. The girl who attended parties in graveyards and stayed up all night watching horror flicks was afraid of things beyond her control. She knew that everyone worried to some extent about the future, but not having the answers make her freeze up, and shut down.

And that was why, ten years ago, she told McGee that it would be better if there were just friends. And for ten years, they had been.

Sort of.

If Abby was going to be really, really honest, she would have admitted that she liked McGee. A lot. She respected him, and thought he was one of the nicest people she knew. It didn't help that she still got butterflies in her stomach whenever he smiled at her. Let's face it- for the past ten years, Abby had only grown to like him more.

She suspected that he still liked her too. The way he sometimes looked at her, the comments she overheard from others, how he acted jealous when she had a new boyfriend- all seemed to point to the fact that he also thought of her as more than a friend.

Or maybe it was just wishful thinking on her part.

"Abbs?"

The voice startled her out of her thoughts. Whirling around, she noticed McGee standing in the doorway of her lab. She felt her face grow warm.

_Lovely._

"Gibbs was wondering if you found anything else." McGee came over to where she was standing.

"Uh, yeah." Abby tried not to meet his eyes. "I'll email him the results of the blood spatter analysis, and I compiled a list of all the petty officers at that party." She handed him the paper.

He took it, but did not leave. "Are you okay, Abbs?" He finally asked.

"What? Oh, yeah. I'm fine." Abby tried flashing a smile. "Just a headache, that's all."

By the look on his face, he didn't believe her, but he seemed to pick up on the fact that she wasn't in a sharing mood. He simply said, "If you want to talk about anything, you know I'm here."

"Thanks Timmy." Abby smiled for real this time. McGee left, and Abby turned back to her computer. She bit back a sigh.

_I can't talk to you about this, Tim._

* * *

Later that night, as Abby was shutting down her lab, she thought again about the earlier conversation. _Tony probably doesn't know how much his comment made me think._

And think she had. Abby probably hadn't done this much reflecting in, well, forever.

She still didn't feel at ease. But she felt a little bit better. Things were more sorted out.

In truth, if McGee was happy, then she was happy for him. He had had so many girlfriends who ended up being criminals or complete jerks. He deserved someone who was normal, and nice, and committed.

Abby just wished it was her.

Yes, she wanted a second chance. She thought if she really tried, she could overcome her commitment shortcomings. But she wasn't going to go be a jealous boyfriend stealer. The nuns taught her better than that.

The usual hum of the lab machines died down, and Abby was faced with silence.

Loud silence.

_I'll be nice. _Abby decided. _If I meet Delilah, I'll be nice and polite. And if Tim is happy, I will be too_.

_But if she hurts him, she will be sorry._

The click of the light switch Abby flipped cemented her resolution.

The lab plunged into darkness.

* * *

**A/N: Thank you for reading! Reviews would be greatly appreciated!**


End file.
